Friday was our first status hearing. I had already been told by the caseworker that "nothing would change." That was *sort of* true. 10:00a: Jon and I arrived for a 10:30a hearing. Three hearings for three different cases are scheduled for the same time. I have NO idea how they determine what order to go in. We sat in the waiting room on the Child and Youth Services floor. We spent the next hour and 15 minutes waiting. We were sitting with the birth parents, their guardians and a GED teacher for birth mom. It may seem like it would be awkward, but it wasn't. We ask each other questions, talk about baby girl, etc. We have a good relationship with the birth family, which is important to us. Wherever baby girl ends up, we want whoever she DOESN'T end up with to be able to maintain contact to receive updates about baby girl and her life. 11:15a: We were moved to a different floor to wait outside the courtroom. Again, we did more waiting. At some point, our caseworker took the birth parents away for a drug test. 11:45a We were brought into the courtroom The entire hearing lasted 5 minutes and 11 seconds (yes, I timed it). Only two items were discussed: 1) The birth parents drug tests taken recently, including the one immediately preceding the hearing.
That was it. We go back to court in November for another hearing where the caseworker also doesn't expect anything to change. Only difference will be the caseworker will testify at the hearing instead of simply writing a "memo" summarizing the case. She told me today she's "looking forward to it." What about the change in visits?Our caseworker came out for her monthly visit today and I asked her about the change in joint visits.
Quick explanation: Before the hearing, the birth parents each received ONE individual hour and a TWO hour joint visit per week. As far as I could tell, there were two possible options for the county in changing joint visits: Option 1: Keep the TOTAL hours the same The birth parents each received a total of 3 hours a week with baby girl, 1 individual and 2 joint. The county could decide to keep the same number of hours they got to see her, which means instead of baby girl being in visitation for 4 hours total (1 hour for mom, 1 hour for dad and 2 hour joint), it would mean SIX hours (3 hours for mom and 3 hours for dad). Option 2: Keep the SCHEDULE of hours the same The schedule before the hearing was two 2 hour days. One day was back to back individual visits and the second day was the two hour joint. The county could decide simply to "split" the joint visits into 1 hour for birth mom and 1 hour for birth dad. This would mean baby girl would be attending the same amount of visit time she was previously, but mom and dad each receive 1 less hour a week with her. Obviously, I would prefer Option 2. Baby girl has not been herself after visits, which is not easy on either of us. Plus, in my mind, it seems unfair to force baby girl to attend more visit hours simply because mom and dad have decided they now hate each other and cannot co-parent (it was obvious to everyone the families are....contentious). Also, birth parents aren't doing what they are supposed to do in staying clean. Why reward bad behavior? The caseworker said as of right now, we're doing Option 2. Each parent gets two hours - separately - with her. It's not the 3 hours they were getting a week, but at least they will be separate as both parents requested. However, she hasn't received the official court order from the judge regarding the change in visits. Once she receives that, the visits may change depending on what the judge decided to write. For now, our focus is on this weekend when Jon and I are taking the kids on a long weekend trip to the beach. We are looking forward to spending time as a family, just the 4.5 of us ;)
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