Yesterday, we spent the entire day in what our adoption agency calls the Domestic Preparation Class.
We had no idea what to expect. Powerpoints? Notetaking? Diaper changing practice? Yes, yes and no. There were some presentations regarding the legal aspects of adoption, how an infant's brain develops and the grief that permeates the adoption journey for everyone, especially when infertility is involved. We were prepared for all that. What we weren't prepared for was the emotional journey we would take because of the panels the rest of the day:
There wasn't a dry eye in the room. Each panel brought a perspective that was unique and fascinating. Not a single one of them said the journey was easy. Yet not a single one of them would change a thing, including the birth parents. Each person discussed what an open adoption looked like and more importantly, how successful it can be when it is handled with love and grace. What's an open adoption? It is an adoption where adoptive families and birth families maintain varying levels of contact. At first glance, it can seem scary to have contact with people you barely know. But the benefits? PLENTY. ~Birth families have continued confirmation that they made the right decision and are given the gift of watching the child grow up. ~Adoptive families are have the gift of knowing the people who love their child is abundant and watching their child grow with all the pieces of who they are. ~Most of all, adopted children have access to knowing medical and personal history as well as people who can shed light on who they are. And let's be honest: what child wouldn't benefit by being loved by more people instead of less? Are there scary aspects of open adoption? Sure. The birth families can disappoint the adopted children by not staying involved. The birth families might have different values or expectations that may compromise the adoptive families role in raising the child. But does God want us to go into every situation expecting the worst? If we did that, I'm not certain anything would ever be accomplished. Disappointment and frustrations are an expected part of life - we are sinners living in a sinful world. We are bound to hurt and disappoint each other. We choose to boldly follow the Lord's instructions and lead by example. Christ extended grace to us; who are we to deny that to others? We went into yesterday just trying to get through the day because it was required. We left excited about the idea of starting a journey not just as parents, but as co-travelers on the adoption road with the people who gave life to our child. What a beautiful, blessed road this will be to travel on. Certainly not easy, but beautiful. Praise the Lord that His plan is better than ours.
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First, thank you for joining us on this journey. We are excited about what the Lord has in store for us and are grateful you want to come along side us as we step out into the unknown. We encourage you to subscribe to our mailing list on our blog (see right hand side). You will be notified via email whenever updates are posted. Some might be wondering why or how we chose the name for our blog. It would have been easier, possibly, to use some iteration of our last names. All obvious choices were already used. So we decided to head to Scripture and find something meaningful. Adopted By Grace really has a double meaning. While on this adoption journey, obviously our hope is to end up with a child (or two!) of our own that we will be blessed to raise. However, as with anything in our lives, it is all in God's hands. We know that nothing happens by accident and if we are going to adopt a child, it will be by His grace and grace alone. However, we believe that as Christians, we have also been adopted by grace.
We owe everything in our lives, physically and spiritually, to God's grace. He did not have to redeem us. He did not have to save us. He could have given up. He could have turned his face away and ignored or forgotten us. He chose to find a way to make us a part of his permanent family. We recently read a sermon online by John Piper that beautifully describes the similarities between what God did in adopting us and what happens with a Christian adoption today. Here's a short summary:
What a beautifully articulated description of why adopted by grace was and is the perfect title for our adoption journey blog. If you would like to read the sermon in full, it can be found here: http://www.desiringgod.org/messages/adoption-the-heart-of-the-gospel In Him, |
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