Yesterday, we spent the entire day in what our adoption agency calls the Domestic Preparation Class.
We had no idea what to expect. Powerpoints? Notetaking? Diaper changing practice? Yes, yes and no. There were some presentations regarding the legal aspects of adoption, how an infant's brain develops and the grief that permeates the adoption journey for everyone, especially when infertility is involved. We were prepared for all that. What we weren't prepared for was the emotional journey we would take because of the panels the rest of the day:
There wasn't a dry eye in the room. Each panel brought a perspective that was unique and fascinating. Not a single one of them said the journey was easy. Yet not a single one of them would change a thing, including the birth parents. Each person discussed what an open adoption looked like and more importantly, how successful it can be when it is handled with love and grace. What's an open adoption? It is an adoption where adoptive families and birth families maintain varying levels of contact. At first glance, it can seem scary to have contact with people you barely know. But the benefits? PLENTY. ~Birth families have continued confirmation that they made the right decision and are given the gift of watching the child grow up. ~Adoptive families are have the gift of knowing the people who love their child is abundant and watching their child grow with all the pieces of who they are. ~Most of all, adopted children have access to knowing medical and personal history as well as people who can shed light on who they are. And let's be honest: what child wouldn't benefit by being loved by more people instead of less? Are there scary aspects of open adoption? Sure. The birth families can disappoint the adopted children by not staying involved. The birth families might have different values or expectations that may compromise the adoptive families role in raising the child. But does God want us to go into every situation expecting the worst? If we did that, I'm not certain anything would ever be accomplished. Disappointment and frustrations are an expected part of life - we are sinners living in a sinful world. We are bound to hurt and disappoint each other. We choose to boldly follow the Lord's instructions and lead by example. Christ extended grace to us; who are we to deny that to others? We went into yesterday just trying to get through the day because it was required. We left excited about the idea of starting a journey not just as parents, but as co-travelers on the adoption road with the people who gave life to our child. What a beautiful, blessed road this will be to travel on. Certainly not easy, but beautiful. Praise the Lord that His plan is better than ours.
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