It was 2:06 in the afternoon.
Ben had woken up from his nap early and had come into my bedroom to cuddle with me as I laid down for a nap of my own. In the partial dark, I lay on my bed, stroking my son's head that lay on my chest, when my cell phone rang. The home phone had just rung and since we typically only get robocalls or solicitors on our home phone, I ignored it. But since it was immediately followed by a call to my cell phone, I had a feeling I should answer it. It was our foster care coordinator. There was a baby girl about to be discharged from the NICU. Did we want her? My heart raced. My mind raced. Did we want her? Yes Should we take her? I wasn't sure. Just two weeks prior, I had taken a pregnancy test. And it was positive. Right before getting pregnant, I had a miscarriage making this current pregnancy #6 and I only had one living child to show out of the 6. What if we say yes, I stay pregnant and have a baby and a foster child at the same time? What if I say no to the foster and miscarry again? I told our foster coordinator I had to call my husband and I'd get back to her. I called Jon. The call was short. His response? "We wanted kids. So there's no way we're turning this down." I called our foster coordinator to say yes and get the details. I had two more calls to make. The first was to my mom. I asked if she was in the mood for a road trip to a certain city. After 10 seconds of silence, she said "absolutely." The second call was to the intake caseworker getting more details about when and where to meet her. Then, it was time to take a trip. I was excited. It was a girl! I was scared. What were we getting into? We knew nothing about the families or case details. It didn't matter. We were headed to get our girl. By the time we got our wits about us and got to the hospital, it was 4pm. I went straight to the NICU while my mom took care of Ben in the waiting room. Before leaving the hospital with her, I had things to do.
By 9 pm, I was getting the car and bringing it around to pack up and head home. I had brought an outfit to the hospital with me and dressed her. The nurse then swaddled her and walked her out in the bassinet, with me following. Ben was already loaded in the car and my mom spoke with the NICU nurse as I carefully put this little girl into her car seat. I overheard the nurse tell my mom something about me that I will never forget: "She is a godsend." My heart broke for this child who had a complete stranger become her "godsend." The whole way home, we talked logistics. What would she need that we didn't have? Was her nursery ready enough? How would I handle the hearing the next day with Ben since he wasn't allowed to go? Halfway home, we stopped for gas and took the first and only picture we have of just her from that day. As I waited for the gas tank to fill, I internally panicked. I didn't know this child. She was completely foreign to me and me to her. I'd never had a premature baby. I'd never fed a baby a bottle. How well did she sleep? Did she use a pacifier? I got her home and Ben immediately wanted to hold her - he'd wanted to hold her since he found out about her at 2:30, poor boy. He sat and we laid her gently on his lap and arm. The gigantic smile on his face filled the room and I knew this was special. In that moment, I knew that she was where she was supposed to be. We may have been her godsend, but she is definitely ours too. Sometimes days blur together, but every once in awhile, there are days that are etched in our memories, never to be forgotten. May 30, 2019 is a day that I will remember and treasure forever. It's the day God gifted us with another miracle child.
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