It finally happened! Baby girl has officially become a Roth :) I will share details of the adoption hearing another time, but I figured the more requested post would be her name and face. So here it is. It's an enormous privilege to finally be able to introduce the little girl that stole our hearts so many months (almost two years!) ago. We'd like to introduce you to...... Ellie Joanne RothWhere did her name come from? Ellie: We have been calling her Ellie from very early on, though never on any legal or official documents. Her legal (birth) name was a long name that was difficult to spell and pronounce and let's just say, was a VERY uncommon name (re: googling it returns ZERO results). However, two of the syllables sound like Ellie so that's what we called her and it stuck. We love it because it means "light" or "God is my light" and since day 1, we have said she brought light into our lives. So it was meant to be. Joanne: This is a bit more complicated because we didn't want to even talk about a middle name until we got closer to adoption. We lived in a bit of a paralyzed state for a long time, always preparing our hearts just in case she was reunified or moved to a different home. With our kids, we are intentional about what names we choose because we want them to be meaningful. We liked the cadence of 2 syllable middle names paired with Ellie and tried to find ones we liked and agreed on. We ultimately chose Joanne for a few reasons:
Where is she from? I did a post when she came home, detailing her story here Quick recap: She was born at 27 weeks gestation in Berks County to a mom and dad who were both 17 years old. During the 2.5 months she was in the NICU, social workers tried without success to place her with family. Once the county determined that she could not and should not go home with family members, we were contacted on May 30, 2019 at 2:30 pm by our coordinator through the county to see if we would be open to fostering her. Our first question was the likelihood of adoption. At the time, the coordinator estimated she had about a 75% chance of becoming available for adoption. (Side note: I recently asked her how she estimated this and she said it was based on her 30 years of experience in the foster care world. Knowing the details about the case, she thought 75% was actually a conservative guess). Even though I was two weeks pregnant with Jacob, we quickly decided that this child was meant to be with us, however long that ended up being. I called my mom since I had Ben to take care of and the 3 of us drove up at 3:15p to go get our girl. However, I was not allowed to take her home until a series of tests were conducted (a car seat test, etc), I watched a few safety videos, and the nurses observed me giving her not one, but two feedings. Since she ate every 2 hours, we were in the hospital from 4pm until almost 9 and didn't arrive home until around 10 pm. Can we see her now?? Yes. You've waited long enough. So have we. Please enjoy a small selection of photos and videos spanning the near 2 years (!!) we've had our girl. We are so grateful for all your prayers throughout our journey. I will continue to update this blog periodically. My next post will detail the adoption hearing process and what that was like. Plus, I will likely have another post dedicated to more FAQs (will we adopt again??). But for now, enjoy our beautiful Ellie Jo and the light she shines for all to see.
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When last I left you, I explained that today would be the pre-trial termination hearing (again). If you don't remember what the pre-trial hearing entails, that's ok. Here's the post that explains it.
The caseworker called this afternoon to give us an update on how the hearing went: Birth mom and birth dad signed consent. They terminated their own parental rights! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Now what? The state of PA has a 30 day revocation period in which birth parents can change their mind. Caseworker thinks the chances of this are unlikely based on her interaction this morning with birth mom and dad and their lawyers. But we are still holding our breath a bit until January 14th. Is is over on Jan 15? Not quite. Their rights won't officially be terminated until a judge signs off on the decree and the first available date is February 1st. Their rights are technically in tact until then, but once the revocation period is over, there is no going back for the birth parents. What about visits? We will still be doing visits until February 1st. After that, no more visits. Can you adopt her right away? No. We are currently being approved by a third party to be adoptive parents in general. We will likely be approved before February 1st, but the process of applying for and adopting Baby Girl is not instantaneous. We will be a whole lot closer, but will still have a process to go through. A lot less stressful, but a process nonetheless. When will you share her name, show her face, etc? As soon as she is legally our daughter (!!), we can share as much as we want. I will certainly be sharing a LOT here post adoption :) How are you feeling? Conflicted, to be honest. This is the outcome for which we have been praying. We have always wanted to officially adopt her, but our prayer was that birth mom and dad make the decision for their daughter instead of her being "taken" from them. When Baby Girl grows up, she will hear about her birth parents choosing the best place for her to grow up. That is a huge answer to prayer, not just for Baby Girl, but for her parents to be able to say they gave that gift to their daughter. On the other hand, these two young people will not have the privilege of watching Baby Girl grow up. I've had the chance to get to know them a little more in the past year and a half. To say that they have had a difficult life is an understatement. Some due to their own choices, but many due to circumstances beyond their control. It does not change the fact that they are not able to care for and raise baby girl, but it is something that as a mother and a Christian I will mourn for them my whole life. What now? Nothing! It's basically just riding it out until we hit the deadline of February 1st and then it's over. I imagine at that time the county will switch gears and work on the adoption, but they cannot do anything until the 30 day revocation period ends. We are SO grateful for each one of you that has kept us in your prayers, continued to read the blog, ask for updates, and just been on this journey with us. We are humbled that God has chosen US as the family for this precious child and look forward to raising her with Ben and Jacob. As I said, the blog is not over. I plan to continue to document the adoption journey for those interested and when I can, I will (FINALLY) reveal all on the blog about BABY GIRL. :) Today was the first of two termination hearings. Today's hearing was for the county to present evidence for termination of rights and for the lawyers to have the chance to object to any findings. It was not going to terminate their rights; merely give the lawyers the chance to object and the county to do whatever they needed to in order to minimize objections. (Typically, this means subpeoning people whose testimony would be heresay if not in person.)
There was good news and bad news. Bad news: Legally, both parents were to be notified of the termination hearing and needed to submit an affidavit saying they were made aware. The county had attempted to notify the birth dad with no response, so notification of the hearing was posted in the local newspaper. Without the signed affidavits, they would not be given attorneys for the hearing. They both appeared for the hearing. Birth mom had signed and her lawyer was present. Birth dad was served, but never signed because he received his in the mail. He brought it with him and said he did not know how to fill it out. The caseworker helped him to fill it out and enter it into the court record. This means he will now have a lawyer present at the hearing and since his lawyer was not available today, the hearing has now been postponed until December 14. Good news: The caseworker spoke to birth mom's lawyer and birth mom this morning. It seems birth mom is on the fence and considering terminating her own rights. One aspect she is curious about is what contact she would be allowed to have after adoption. The caseworker reminded birth mom of the things we have done so far (making a book of photos for Christmas, communicating in a log book, sharing photos before visits, etc) and birth mom said "yeah, I really like Rachel." Birth mom's lawyer opinion: this next month will help birth mom think through her options a little more clearly. Caseworker's opinion: birth dad will follow suit with whatever birth mom does. What now? The caseworker gave us some ideas of how to safely keep in contact with birth parents and maintain privacy. She will be coming out for her monthly visit in two weeks and we will discuss it more then and give her an idea of what we are thinking so she can take something back to birth mom's lawyer. We would love for you to pray:
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